Ultimate Shop Goat
by ULTIMATE SHOP
- Free of gelatin, gluten, GMOs and artificial flavors, whatever that means
- 100% Vegan or vegan-esque, maybe
- Nutrition facts and ingredients displayed here may differ from what is printed on the packaging; information on packaging reflects actual contents
Ingredients: organic tapioca syrup, organic cane sugar, corn starch, cane sugar, agar, modified corn starch, fumaric acid, natural flavor, organic fruit and vegetable juice for color, chili lime seasoning (spices, lime juice powder [citric acid, lime oil, lime juice, ascorbic acid, cane sugar], citric acid, silicon dioxide [anti-caking]), citric acid, locust bean gum, live goat.
Please see other sections for relevant information regarding that which cannot be spoken for fear of impending insanity and uncannily familiar screams from the murky depths of time immemorial.
Half-off self-slaughter special on peppermint cherry mustard goats! Guess which half to win a self-slaughtering goat chakra healing manual full of fun facts you can share at your next birthday party!
I love goats. They’re adorable, freaky-looking and hilarious all at once. I mean, look at their eyes and you can see why they got associated with the devil. Freaky sideways slit goat eyes, seriously, what they hell?
And yet, they’re super cute and their human-sounding screams are hilarious.
NOTE: I am not talking about the screams of a goat in pain, it’s just a vocalization goats do. It turns out that goats yell for all the reasons you’d expect them to: calling their young, signalling danger or pain, wanting to be fed, etc.