Press Release: Grand Opening

Hey There Kiddos!

This is the greatest day in your life, possibly the greatest day in anybody’s lives ever! Today we’re opening the doors to the greatest retail experience ever, Ultimate Shop!

Now, I know some of you all can’t make the drive to the front door, so we’ve put together this little Online Ultimate Shop Super Site. I’m not sure I’m going to keep that title, but it sure sounds great, don’t it?

Anyway, get ready to shop your over-educated, under-employed asses off.

Your friend,
Max Hunger

P.S. Be sure and check out the Super Prime Excellent Membership page!